Setting Out to Work

I’m up after a few nights’ sleep. I’m still waiting for my poems to be published in Adelaide Literary Magazine, although it’s too late for them to be in an October issue now. I’m facing greater responsibilities in my internship today. I sent out another poem to Maryland Art Place, and shall see what comes of it.

For some reason, as I anticipated a new day of new challenges–besides work, embarking on nanowrimo (National Novel Writing Month in which you set out to write 50,000 words in a month)–I couldn’t sleep, and I didn’t know why except that I was distressed.

5 “From my distress I called upon

the LORD;

The LORD answered me and set

me in a large place.

6 The LORD is for me; I will not

fear;

What can man do to me?

7 The LORD is among those

who help me;

Therefore I will look with satisfaction

on those who hate me.

8 It is better to take refuge in the

LORD

Than to trust in man.

9 It is better to take refuge in the

LORD

Than to trust in princes.”

Psalm 116: 5-9

 

God has put wonderful people in my life to help guide my way post-college. My parents, my friends, and others. Twoset Violin, a YouTube duo who make comedic violin/classical music-related videos and who’s performance in Maryland I just missed, encourage people through humor to practice their instrument, as that is the only way to get better.

For over four years, I have been crippled by some kind of pride concerning playing piano. Blame the teacher, blame the prodigies, blame the practice room, blame the piano. And of course, what would I do if I became too good at piano? I couldn’t Handel it!

Because of this attitude, although others may say that I played beautifully, my hands were tense and I was unable to enjoy the music fully, let alone the enjoyment of making music. My focus was on myself. Within the past weekend of me unhealthily watching a ton of their videos, Twoset has actually begun to play a main role in me losing that bondage of pride, and motivating me to actually practice piano more than once every few weeks for an hour. Praise God, because I’d been praying to be set free of my tension for like a year!

Meanwhile, I started to get jealous of them. They’re only 25 and 26, and I’m 23! They’re making videos from ideas not too unlike the ideas I have! What am I doing with my life? Why don’t I have a best-friend business partner; why am I not able to do what they’re doing? Why am I so stuck?

Yet the women at the Bible study told me, “It’s not my race.” There’s a time of preparation as well as a time of fruitfulness, and I am, it appears, doing what I need to do, such as meeting new people, researching the job market, etc. My chains fell off and contentment found me. May this month mark a new time of making for God!