Sublimity

This is a poem I wrote recently. I wouldn’t say it’s in its finished form, but perhaps you might have some helpful comments on how it can improve. I had music buzzing in my head as I wrote it, and riding along that wave I wrote almost half the piece. Then my mom spoke to me, and I couldn’t quite hold the same state of mind after that. But I’ll let you enjoy it; if you have any helpful critiques, please reply!

Sublimity

Sublimity trailed along our road

In silent trees, as they glowed

Above our daily cares, in the cold.

It came to us through stories told

Of sights and smells and sounds that held

Us breathless and in awe–what we’ve beheld.

Come winter, spring, and there appeared

The stars and planets in our atmosphere . . .

Would you believe the beauties that we’ve seen?

Do you remember all those joys and what they mean?

My ink runs dry as our song winds down,

Perhaps because of the silence around.

The pictures in my mind of you are watery:

You looked up at the glowing trees to see

If you could catch their breaths, which I had heard,

While I gazed high to see what had occurred

Up in the sky: brilliant beings twinkling nigh,

And thunder ranging hither, thither, up on high.